Posts by William Penwell

the article describes four different religions (rastafari, jws, amish, and scientology); jws are #3.. the jw entry is pretty accurate (and as usual, funny), but surprisingly doesn't mention the two-witness-rule-related legal troubles the wt has been having lately.

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William Penwell

Here is the part about the JW's in the article,

#3. Jehovah's Witnesses Are Dark As Hell

Jehovah's Witnesses are the people who knock on your door on Saturday afternoon to ask if you've heard The Good News, like they're going to tell you you just won the lottery. They're mostly harmless. They seem like pleasant enough people, even if they don't celebrate birthdays.

But beneath that skinny tie and loose-fit khakis lies one of the grimmest denominations of Christianity you'll find. Jehovah's Witnesses absolutely are not fucking around.

Medioimages/Photodisc/Photodisc/Getty Images

Cue Slayer's "Reign in Blood."

First of all, Jehovah's Witnesses believe that the world is in the process of ending right now. And it started ending just over a century ago. Witness scripture is kind of on a fast track. Apparently, Satan rebelled and got kicked out of heaven on Oct. 1, 1914, and it's all gone downhill since then. It's like the gritty reboot of Christianity.

They also don't believe in an afterlife. They believe that there are exactly 144,000 people in history that God will bring to heaven in their living bodies after Armageddon, and their hope is to be one of those people, which raises the question: Is there an undercurrent of bitter competition among Witnesses to be one of the few out of the many millions to secure a seat on God's bus to eternity? If you don't find yourself in that exclusive crowd, the best you can ask for is to be resurrected on Earth after the end times are over. If you don't fall into one of those two categories, you are just plain dead.

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Upside: no hell.

As mentioned, Jehovah's Witnesses are also opposed to holidays and birthdays, declaring them pagan. (Though they do encourage their followers to randomly give gifts to their kids to keep them from fleeing a religion free of gift-wrapped Ninja Turtle toys.) They're also opposed to military service, saluting the flag (which has caused some issues, as you can imagine), and singing national anthems. They're not big on depictions of the cross, either, because Witnesses believe that other churches' use of the cross is idolatry, and also that Jesus was killed on a single, upright post, instead of a traditional cross.

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Makes a crucifix look like a luxury.

Basically, it all sounds really depressing. Plus, they don't allow blood transfusions under any circumstances, even if it could save a life. And they have to knock on your door. Jehovah's Witnesses are required to be evangelical. Every month, they have to submit "field service reports" detailing their efforts to convert people. If they don't, they're deemed "irregular." If they go six months without submitting one, they're "inactive." And Jehovah help you if you ever leave, because then you're labeled "wicked." And if a Jehovah's Witness happens to disagree with any of the rules or scripture, they're immediately declared to be "mentally diseased." Did I mention they don't fuck around?

They have a super dark outlook on everyone else, too. They think the U.N. is evil and part of the Antichrist (which is weird because they very briefly joined them). They also believe all other religions are wrong and their followers will be destroyed when Jesus comes back. So, yeah, not extremely friendly to outsiders.

And things aren't just rough inside the faith, either. They've had plenty of stuff to deal with from the outside. Jehovah's Witnesses were also one of the targets of the Nazis during the Holocaust. Since they refused military service, Hitler rounded them up and put them in concentration camps along with the Jews, where they were marked with purple triangles.

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You can never again slam the door in their faces without feeling like a total asshole.

So next time you have them knocking on your door, just remember that they're actually Jesus' version of Kyle Reese, getting ready to unflinchingly fight a terrifying future war.

9

Does anyone else find reinstated dubs can be the most hypocritical?

by William Penwell in

i have seen this over the years that some that get df'd and later reinstated can be the most hypocritical.

one case comes to find about my nephew who was df'd about 10 years ago for cupping a little feel of some dub sisters boobs.

well right away he turns to us non dubs for moral support as he is being ostracized by the dub relatives.

William Penwell

The most hard-nosed, self-righteous, suspicious-of-everyone, paranoid JWs are the ones who "got into trouble" years ago.

When I was a teen the ones that would be the biggest partyers, drink and carry on, Sunday morning were holier than thou. Those same ones became elders later on in life. When or if I ever see them they make me want to puke.

9

Does anyone else find reinstated dubs can be the most hypocritical?

by William Penwell in

i have seen this over the years that some that get df'd and later reinstated can be the most hypocritical.

one case comes to find about my nephew who was df'd about 10 years ago for cupping a little feel of some dub sisters boobs.

well right away he turns to us non dubs for moral support as he is being ostracized by the dub relatives.

William Penwell

I knew about a local elder about 30 years ago that was high up in the ranks. He was on the blood committee and gave talks at the DC. He was DF'ed for have sex with a sister who's husband was dying of cancer and being on the blood committee he counseled her or did more than counseling. Well that was a big deal and he was DF'd but was back in the organization in a few years and before long they gave him back all the privileges. Seems to me a dual standard as if it was a regular R&F member DF'ed, it would take them years to get back all their privileges.

8

JWs as described by Cracked

by Vidiot in

http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-religions-youve-got-all-wrong-because-hollywood/.

the article describes four different religions (rastafari, jws, amish, and scientology); jws are #3.. the jw entry is pretty accurate (and as usual, funny), but surprisingly doesn't mention the two-witness-rule-related legal troubles the wt has been having lately.

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William Penwell

There is plenty of sound, accurate info against JWs that I acknowledge, but I do not like it when Hollywood, the writer of this article, or anybody else paints an inaccurate picture. I like facts, truth, accuracy, honesty.

These type of articles only goes to justifying in the minds of the R&F dub that all "wordily" article's are a bunch of lies.

I read this article this AM and thought it was great (other than the glaring 144,000 error of course), but now it is no longer on the site and a google search for the article just takes you to the Cracked homepage. Revision (hopefully)?

I just checked and it has been taken off. Hopefully it is for revisions and not being pressured into taking it off by one of those "cults" written in the article.

67

How do you feel about religion as a whole?

by FatherFirst in

it just seems to me religion in general primarily makes truly bad people worse, not genuinly good people better; and in many cases has even made good people do bad things in the name of their religion.

just curious, a personal poll if you will.

what are you guys' current views on religion as a whole?

William Penwell

A religious persons argument that he only reason we have morals is because of religion. In other words if it wasn't for that persons religion he would be out robbing, raping and murdering? Morals would have evolved regardless of religion.

3

How much do you love Spam?

by John Aquila in

i not sure how popular it is in other parts of the world but in my part of the world, it is not popular at all.

if you had to climb a ladder to get to it you would have to climb over steak, ham, fish, chicken, tuna, bologna, and a few others meats before you get to spam..

i have not seen a spam commercial since the 90s.

William Penwell

I like the Monty Python Spam skit.

This is not like the good old days when banging on doors was the most important thing, rain, snow or shine. I recall one time some kids following us from door to door heckling us. Instead of leaving and coming back another day the elder made the decision for us to continue over the heckling.

9

Does anyone else find reinstated dubs can be the most hypocritical?

by William Penwell in

i have seen this over the years that some that get df'd and later reinstated can be the most hypocritical.

one case comes to find about my nephew who was df'd about 10 years ago for cupping a little feel of some dub sisters boobs.

well right away he turns to us non dubs for moral support as he is being ostracized by the dub relatives.

William Penwell

I have seen this over the years that some that get DF'd and later reinstated can be the most hypocritical. One case comes to find about my nephew who was DF'd about 10 years ago for cupping a little feel of some dub sisters boobs. Well right away he turns to us non dubs for moral support as he is being ostracized by the dub relatives. Well he was trying to get reinstated he would party, drink and carouse like the rest of the wicked "worldly" friends. As soon as he was reinstated it is like we now don't exist, which I knew he would happen but only if he wants a favor from one of us then we are OK. Well just recently there was an issue in our family that he found offense to something posted by an ex dub relative on their facebook page and is doing like any good brain dead dub and is shunning that person. I think I am just venting here but also would like to open up the discussion and feedback as to what others experiences on here with reinstated dubs?

I am at the point now as I have kept my mouth shut over the years on certain Jdub matters out of respect for my elderly parents. Now they are both gone I am finding it more and more difficult to just keep my mouth shut as I do not care what the rest of the brain dead relatives have to think.

27

Letter From My Elder Uncle

by freemindfade in

ok guys, this is long, so i am sorry, but i think it is important to publish.

this is a glimpse into a 4 page letter (love that song) from my uber elder uncle.

as some of you may know i got tired of being in an email chain and finally lost it and lashed out.

William Penwell

This is not even worth responding to. Like other posters on here mentioned it is no win situation. If you want to fade you will have to give him a polite response.

I like the quote about the fear of death,

"It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It's the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying who never learns to live"

This reminds me of a quote I just read of Mark Twains, "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." That is the trouble with the JW's as they always fear death and are never allowed to enjoy this life.